Sunday, 28 February 2016

Don't Confuse Comfort with Love

Sometimes, we become so enamoured with wanting to have someone in our lives that it often leads us away from the real reason behind wanting a relationship. 

In some cases, the love is so intense and so real that we can't put it into a context that we can understand because we haven't felt that kind of love before. So, we run away from it, not believing something can be that real and lovely.

Someone gave me an analogy of why someone would run away from a deep love and choose comfort: He said that it's like collecting stamps and you put those stamps in one book and you only use that one book. Suddenly, someone comes along and gives you another book and you don't know what to do with it. You can't understand it because you've only used that one book. 

In the context of love, we can become accustomed to that one type of love, and that's all we've been able to understand. It's comfortable and safe. There's nothing that needs to be understood because it can be put into a context that makes sense. It can be put into that one familiar book.

Then, a different love comes along. This love is a much deeper love where the feelings are stronger--more than what you have felt before. You have nothing to relate it to because you haven't felt like this before. It's new territory.  

Instead of taking a leap to experience something that you know is deeper, you retreat back to the old book or the old type of love. It's not new nor different, but at least you can put it into a context you understand, and you feel safe. When I say 'safe', I don't mean the kind where you'll be protected, but in the way of 'if I don't take a chance then I won't fail.'

We see this all of the time where couples aren't really happy, but they stay because it's comfortable. You stick with it because the alternative would mean stepping outside of your comfort zone for something deeper, something more loving than you have ever felt before.  

This is the death of a well-lived life--choosing mediocre over extraordinary. This is the difference between love and comfort. (Don't confuse this with instant infatuation, because that's a completely different thing and a completely different blog topic.)

This isn't to say that people shouldn't work at a relationship and should give up as soon as it becomes less than satisfactory. What this is about is knowing when there's no chemistry and no attraction in a relationship, and choosing safety and comfort over deep love.

I love this quote by Keay Nigel in her article 'The Difference Between Needing, Wanting, and Loving Somebody': "This is not love that you are feeling. It's nostalgia."

The fact is, when a deeper love comes along, and you question it's validity, just remember that you had asked for it at a vibrational level. You had asked the universe to bring you something deeper, more profound, and something that you have never felt before. And, therefore, you received it. Resisting it means you are declining a true manifestation of your desire. Resisting means you are sabotaging yourself.

“A life lived in fear... is a life half-lived.” ― Baz Luhrmann

Monday, 17 August 2015

Pain, Heartbreak, and Moving Forward

I have experienced pain and heartbreak more times than I care to count. Someone I loved deeply died on Valentine's Day, and, let me tell you, that really, really sucks. Every Valentine's Day, I get to celebrate with this memory--always and forever. I could continue being sad on this day while others around me fall in love...or, I could move forward, creating something new in my life. 
I have chosen to move forward.

Even though traumatic things are really crappy to experience, I still believe in love. I still want to share myself fully with another. Even though my traumatic experience caused great pain and sadness to the point I thought my heart was ripped from my chest, it was also a great gift: It showed me how to fully love and be loved.  It showed me that trying for something can lead to amazing things. 

When I meet someone who has experienced hurt and loss but refuses to move on, I wonder why wouldn't you move forward? What is the benefit to hanging on to the past? While it's true that you are taking another chance at getting hurt, that it might not work out, that you  might experience something traumatic, the questions is, will you be okay without ever knowing if it could be wonderful because you didn't try?  

When things are going well in a relationship, when you are expanding and growing together, and then suddenly one person pulls back, it's because the larger part of that person (their higher consciousness) expanded and the physical part of them chose not to go. They became afraid and they chose not to take the leap to where the larger part of themselves was standing. The larger part of themselves was 'over there' drinking champagne, celebrating, and enjoying life, while the physical part of themselves was still holding themselves back, unhappy and discontent. 

When things are going well and you know the next step will leap you forward to a place that is positive and beautiful, and you feel negative emotion about it, it's because you chose not to expand. You are holding yourself back because you are afraid of possibly experiencing hurt. It's protection, but it also doesn't move you forward. 

Take the time to understand what is really going on when you hold back--when you know something great is right there, but you choose not to experience it. Maybe it's time for you to take that small step toward it. 

One small step may be all you need to discover that you will be immersed in the warm embrace of something truly amazing.  

PS: Soul Love Awakening supports charities worldwide. $1 of every product sold goes to help the charity for that quarter. Check out for more details.

Thursday, 30 July 2015

Why We Need to Awaken the Love Within

I have spoken before about feeling the love within us and why it's so important to open our hearts not only to ourselves but to others. Love really does change things when you can give and receive it freely.

When we block ourselves from love, it can affect every aspect of our lives, which includes experiencing true happiness. But, where does true happiness begin? It begins within. It can never be found externally....well, not on a permanent basis. See previous blog on how happiness is an inside job.

Awakening the love within doesn't just affect our lives but also the lives around us; it affects those beings that need help as well.

So the story goes, if we felt the true love inside of us for ourselves, we wouldn't intentionally hurt another.

Everyday, we see lack of compassion for another being. For example, Cecil the Lion was brutally killed earlier this week due to lack of compassion for another living being. But, the world is not going to hell in a hand basket. There is way more love out there than hate. If we truly opened our eyes, we would see that love is everywhere. 

But, how do you awaken the love within?

  • Move beyond the ego and into the heart where love resides. 
  • Love yourself because you can't effectively love another unless you love yourself completely. When you feel the love for yourself and recognize your own divinity, you will begin to recognize it in other beings, as well. 
Stay in love, dear friends!

P.S. Check out Prairie Girl Press on Spreadshirt where $1.00 of every product sold will go to help the charity for that quarter. This quarterly's charity is World Animal Protection helps to provide programs to protect beautiful animals like Cecil the lion. 

Sunday, 12 July 2015

Sensuality and Relationships

Recently, I was pondering the word 'sensuality'. What does it mean and what is the difference between being sexy and sensual?

When thinking about sensuality, think juicy, delicious, full, and all encompassing. It's employing all of the senses, meaning that it goes beyond the physical.

It's everything: touch, taste, sound, expression--inside and out. It means body, mind, and spirit are one, blossoming into a beautiful and fully aware experience.

Think of a juicy ripe peach and all of the senses that play in the role in the consuming of it--full and lovely.

Sensuality is tuning into all of your senses. It's not only about experiencing all of your senses sexually but within the entire world and what is going on around you. It's mindfulness. It's experiencing life on all levels.

With relationships and life, we get caught up in the mundane, in the day to day activities. We go through the motions, not really paying attention to the energy around us. We choose not to sense the subtle vibrations, being sucked in by whirlwind of other useless energy; energy that we have become accustomed to but doesn't really serve us.

Sensuality means employing emotions, deep emotion, something many people have turned off because it protects them from being hurt. It's easier to protect the heart instead of feeling all of those powerful emotions. But, when we put up that deep wall around our heart, we rob ourselves of experiencing something deeper.

How do we experience sensuality?

Being mindful of your sensuality is getting out of your head and into the feelings, and into the energy that is running around you and through you.

It's becoming aware, noticing, recognizing, and opening up to the pure essence of this beautiful, sensual energy. That's the key: Stay open and let it flow. Don't overthink it, just trust in the beauty of it.

Stay sensual, beautiful friends!

Sunday, 21 June 2015

Intimacy and Trust

We humans are a funny and fickle bunch. We are sent here to love and be loved but we would prefer to hold back our love for fear of being hurt. We would prefer to resist something amazing from coming into our lives because we fear that we may experience the same pain from the past.

We hold ourselves back because the thought of the potential pain is too much to handle. Who wants to be blindsided? It hurts like a son-of-a-birch-tree when you are blindsided. You feel unprotected and naked. Why would we want to expose our beautiful heart to something that could potentially hurt it?

Then, there is the flip side to all of that--it's something that our heart knows to be true: It's to love and to be loved. To love despite what is happening.

That is where intimacy comes in. Intimacy with your partner is about trust. It's about opening up to the flow of life, and it is the most beautiful way to share your heart. Intimacy is about that special connection between two people that brings you closer together. 

Well being, trust and intimacy are all part of the same package. We all tend to hold our heart energy close to us, holding it tightly so no one can take it away again, as if it were something to steal. We don't want to be the fool, especially when we give so much of ourselves.

To love another person, to be fully open to another, this is when our heart's energy expands. When it expands, we can open up to the full potential of our loving selves.

The ultimate in life is to share love. Do not pass up the chance to love. 

Sunday, 14 June 2015

The Relationship Expiry Date

We've all been there: Hanging on to a relationship that clearly has past the 'Best Before Date'. For some reason, we like to hang on to things that no longer serve us. We think we will try harder or things will change for the better, and granted, they can. But, obviously, something has shifted in the vibration of the relationship and both people involved know it, even if they won't admit it. 

If you've already started to detach from a relationship because it no longer works, but, you have not fully cut the cord, here are few things to consider: 

  • Prolonging the inevitable will not make it easier, but harder. Think about when you have to get a project done and you delay it to the last minute. It's a struggle and you hate every second of it. But, once it's done, you feel overwhelming relief. It's like pulling off a bandage: When you do it slowly, it's extremely painful.
  • If you are trying to spare the other person's feelings, trust me, you aren't. You are only sparing your own so you don't look like the bad person. Fact is, it's more hurtful, damaging, and disrespectful when you put off what you know has to be done. The other person still believes that they are in a relationship with you. Even though they feel the pulling away, they will ignore it and still continue on. 
  • You are preventing a more beautiful relationship from coming into your own life and the other person's life. That wonderful man/woman for you could be waiting to walk through that door, but you choose to keep it closed. 
  • Holding on to a relationship because you feel you have to, because it's how you measure your worthiness, or because you are lonely are not valid reasons to hang on. 
When you ignore the signs that the relationship has hit its expiry date and when you delay what you know in your heart to be true, you are not doing yourself any favours. 

By not moving on from a relationship, when you know you should, will set up the vibration of not moving forward in other areas of your life. You will manifest a feeling of 'stuckness' or a perpetual cycle of the same scenarios, not only in your relationships, but in your career, finances, health, etc.

Resisting change causes more suffering than moving forward ever will. Keep moving forward. 

P.S: Soul Love Awakening supports worldwide charities. Find out how: .

Sunday, 24 May 2015

Rebuilding the Relationship with Yourself

If you’re like me, you more than likely have given all of yourself in a loving relationship--working hard at compromising and understanding one another; making it work on the days where you just don’t seem to be getting along. Giving of yourself to a point where you are spent and have nothing left to give anymore. 

And, while they say that working at a relationship is key to a long lasting happily ever after, I say that there are other factors involved: one is alignment and the second is making sure that your needs are being taken care of.

Sometimes, we give so much of ourselves that we lose ourselves in the process. We become someone else for someone else. We do everything for another person leaving very little to give to us. This depletion leaves us tired, resentful and angry.

The key is to rebuild (and maintain) the relationship with yourself. You are an integral component to your loving relationship. You will be with yourself for the rest of your life, and need to dedicate yourself to you as well. How do you dedicate yourself to yourself? 

1)      Find out what makes you happy and make a promise to do those things.
2)    Do loving things for yourself. 
3)    Do something that will take care of you. 
4)    Talk to yourself as if you were talking to someone you absolutely loved. 
5)    Do these things on a consistent basis.

While we always wish the other person in our relationship would change, the fact is we
can't make anyone change, we can only change ourselves. 

The only relationship that really matters is the relationship between you and You: The
relationship with yourself. When you are more loving toward yourself, more respectful,
more dedicated, choosing that your happiness is key and only you can make you
happy, then your relationships will reflect this for you. Honour who you are and what you
are made of because you are important and you are worth it. 

Stay true to yourselves, lovely friends. 

PS: Want to find out how you can love yourself even more? Join me and Michelle Ponto for a Women's Wellness Weekend in July. Click here for details.