Sunday, 23 February 2014

The Most Important Thing....

There are hundreds of topics to choose from when writing about relationships; but the most important of them all is: The Love of Self. 

This is a huge one. We tend to grow through life not loving ourselves enough, hoping that someone else will fill that need for us, and love us into loving ourselves. Or, hoping we become lovable enough if we are loved. But, what if that person leaves? Then what? Do we once again become unlovable?

This is why loving yourself first is so very important. Before you get into that relationship, before you sign yourself up for online dating website, or before you consider speed dating, love yourself first.

What it means to love yourself: 
Lately, you may have heard the buzz about loving yourself. Everyone may nod their heads in agreement, but does anyone take any action when it comes to loving themselves fully?

Maybe giving yourself some downtime, or buying yourself something nice is loving yourself. Or possibly taking time for an occasional massage or pedicure, nice meal or vacation.

Love of self means something different to everyone;  but, at the basis of it, loving yourself means respect. It means understanding your needs and wants. It means caring enough for yourself to never mistreat yourself or let others mistreat you. It means that, no matter what, caring for yourself, your body, mind and spirit is at the top of the list.

It also means looking in the mirror everyday and being kind to yourself. Looking in the mirror being happy with what you see. It’s getting up in the morning and not having those negative thoughts pervade you for the next 14 hours; those thoughts about how you aren’t enough, or why didn’t you do that thing you should have done, or why didn’t you exercise, or why did you eat those cookies? Why did you spend that money? 

It’s getting up everyday and saying, 'I’m great'. 'I’m perfect just the way I am.' 'I accept me and I’m accepting of me.' This doesn’t mean that, if you want to grow and evolve in body, mind, and spirit, you can’t. It’s about making peace with what is happening right in this moment, and say, 'It’s okay. Just keep going.'

When my children were learning to walk, I never berated them for not knowing how to do it on their first try. I encouraged them if they fell down, and told them it's okay, and to try again. 

This should be the same with how we treat ourselves. It’s okay. Just try again. You will get there. Love yourself and who you are right now. Love yourself no matter what. When we love ourselves, that love will shine through for the world to see. 

Every day and in every single moment, we all have the power to choose differently.

PS: Soul Love Awakening proudly supports worldwide charities. Find out how: .

Friday, 14 February 2014

I Think I Love You

There's something to be said about the caring nature of people. I, for one, have never felt lack of support and love. I have been fortunate enough to be abundant in friends and family, and their unwavering love and support. Humans, deep down at the core, are gracious, kind, and loving. This I have no doubt. 

When Trevor passed 2 years ago today, and my world seemed to crumble all around me,  I was quickly and lovingly blanketed in support, love, and kindness. Friends, family, and people I had never met, graciously offered shoulders to lean on. Even my ex did what he could to make things easier. I know...right?

2 years ago, I never thought I would get to this point where the hurting would be lessened to a dull ache. It seems like forever ago, and only yesterday. But the past is the past, and I don't live there anymore; it cannot be changed. These anniversary dates are not meant to be avoided or cursed; it is in these moments where we have to step out and step up... to stand at the fork in the road and choose the path that will take us on an even greater journey. 

I am sincerely grateful to Trevor for the love, respect, and kindness he brought to my life. I was one of the fortunate ones to have been loved so deeply.The time we spent together, as short as it was, has made me so keenly aware of what love should look like...and I refuse to settle for less. This picture is of the final words he wrote to me on my Valentine's Day card. 

Sometimes, we don't see how we are truly loved and cared for as we go about our busy lives. But I know it's there whenever I need it.

My message to you is this: when you are in the depths of despair; when you don't see how love could possibly come knocking at your door again, or that there is no way you could feel happy again---believe that it's possible. Believe that the brilliant light that is flickering inside of you will burst forth from deep within your core, shining a spotlight on love, because love is always there.

Know that, in this moment, and the next, and the next one after that, you will be led to better moments and greater clarity. That is the journey. Don't accept anything less than love. And don't treat yourself with anything less than love. 

"Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires; To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully." - Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

I think I love you. It means more than love of another person.... It's also about loving yourself.

This is the place to understand about love and loss; respect and discovering, clarity and unfolding; moving on and evolving.

On this day, two years ago, I lost my love. During these last two years, I have seen others struggle in their relationships, and not treat themselves with enough love and respect to make things better. There is always a better way.

I figured it was time to marry my psychology degree and my love for writing, and put it into something useful. Hopefully, some solace and reassurance can be found here for those seeking it.

This blog is dedicated to Trevor.