Monday, 18 August 2014

Are You Attracted to a Fixer Upper?

You’ve all seen those home improvement shows where a team goes in and guts a house, renovates it, then sells it for more than what they bought it for. Isn't it amazing to see the end product? So much hard work and dedication was put into making something so old and worn into something so beautiful.

However, this doesn't apply to relationships. There are many of us out there that fall in love with the 'potential' of a person, and believe that they can be so much more than what they realize. You are positive that, with your help, love, and commitment, they will blossom like a rose. Unfortunately, this is not always the case, and you rarely get a return on your investment.

Instead of the relationship being propelled forward, you are busy trying to fix them; lifting them up and trying to mould them into their full potential. 

If you are anything like me, you may have spent a lot of time ‘fixing’ others. It really is exhausting. Eventually, you get to the point where you can't do it anymore. 

Although, it is valiant of you to take it upon yourself to help your lover become everything that they are meant to be, at some point you will want to see them fly on their own. However, it isn't your job to make them 'better'. They have to want to do it themselves. 

And, if they do not take the lead, but choose to stay stuck where they are, you will spend the bulk of the relationship trying to make them feel good, while you become unsatisfied and resentful. 

This is where you have to ask yourself, 'Is it worth it?' Relationships do require effort. That is a given. However, you want your lover to be right beside you on your journey together and to grow with you. It would be remiss for me to say that there aren’t bumps and curves in relationships. They certainly do happen. But, when you are constantly being the life support for the other person, that means you have found yourself a 'Fixer Upper'. When you realize this, you have to ask yourself a few things: 

  • Is this what I truly want? 
  • Why would I attract this into my life? (In my case, several times!) 
  • How do I feel about myself? Do I feel worthy enough to have a stable, loving relationship? 
  • Do I feel it is my job to fix others? 
  • Is there something in my own life that I need to address, but have been ignoring by focusing on someone else's problems? 

The fact is, relationships are supposed to be enjoyable. Love is supposed to be fun. A relationship full of stress and indeciveness does not make a happy life. 

Time to be honest with yourself: 
What is it exactly that you want in a loving relationship? And, are you getting it in your current relationship? 

Make sure that you are loving yourself, respecting yourself, and being true to who you are! 

Much love, Beautiful Souls!


Monday, 11 August 2014

You Are Love

Dear Beautiful Souls,

As I'm writing this, I'm wondering how I can impress upon you how amazingly beautiful you are!
Truly, take a look at your fantastic selves!
If you can't see it, then you aren't looking deep enough.

You have come this far and learned so much about life and love. You have made it through times of contrast and adversity, and still, here you are, standing strong and stable on your own two feet.

If you are still beating yourself up because of the past, then's done. The past only has power if you give it power.

You went through those difficult times to help you grow. Be proud of yourself and how far you have come! It's an amazing thing when we can look back and say, "Ya, that happened, and I know so much more now. I have become better because of it."

Realize that every single day you become better and better; it's all part of this lovely journey that you are on.
Let the path unfold before you in brilliant and luminescent colours of your choice. It always has been your choice. You get to decide if you want to reach for a higher place, or stay staring at what is. Because you are here right now means you want so much more; to reach for better than what you've had.

Are you ready to take the next step and unravel another layer of your beautiful self? Start pulling back the veil and watch what happens. Go deep inside your heart and discover what is lying there waiting for you to awaken it. When you do, the fire within you will grow so brightly that nothing can shake you.

Remember, it's not what you do, how much you have, or where you have been that determines who you are; it's how much you are able to love yourself and love others.

You are, and always have been, full of love.

You are love.


Monday, 4 August 2014

Wild Horses Couldn't Drag Me Away.....

Lately, I've been thinking about 'potential relationships': the relationships that look like they have the possibility of being something, but become nothing.

Or, the relationships where we are sure that the other person is into us, but nothing transpires. Then, that becomes the start of billions of questions of wondering if that person really did like us in the first place.

As you can imagine, this is very frustrating.... with a 95% chance of a person's head exploding from the continued thoughts and analyses.

The feedback we are getting from our love interest is all very...well, wishy-washy. Plus, it doesn't give us much satisfaction if we have to guess all the time about someone's affections. Abraham-Hicks has a excellent analogy stating that, when you are aligned to that other person (and vice versa), wild horses couldn't keep you, or them, away. View the video here: Wild Horses

So, my questions is: Would you prefer to have someone who adores you and you adore them?

Or, would you rather try to convince someone, who is only half-interested in you, that you are worthy enough to be adored?

This goes back to my previous blog post Your Brilliant Light and how we tend to settle because we feel inadequate and not good enough for something better. 

Perhaps, we settle for less because we are afraid of change; afraid of searching for something more.  C. Joybell C says this quite eloquently: 

“We can't be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don't have something better.” 

Wait for the Wild Horses.