Sunday 23 November 2014

The False Self



You may have heard the saying that we can't define ourselves by our past because we aren't that person anymore.

Unfortunately, we love to be labelled by past situations and events as if they are the things that give us our identity. We hold onto them so tightly, believing that we will become nothing if we lose this part of ourselves. This is our false self. This is the ego that puts on a mask and prances around pretending to be us, only for us to discover much later that the ego could never be who we truly are.

Cynthia Bourgeault said, “Beginning in infancy (or even before) each of us, in response to perceived threats to our well-being, develops a false self: a set of protective behaviours driven at root by a sense of need and lack. The essence of the false self is driven, addictive energy, consisting of tremendous emotional investment in compensatory "emotional programs for happiness," as Keating calls them."

The ego loves to hold onto outworn beliefs because it feels the need to be validated. There is a fear of letting go of our past because we do not want to lose ourselves in the process lest we disappear into oblivion. We have become so comfortably acquainted to that part of ourselves that, even though it no longer works for us, we accept it as who we are, arguing that 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks.'

When we start to experience ourselves by what we want to be, how we want to act, who we want to be, rather than by the false self created by the ego, then that is when things begin to shift.

If we continue to define our lives by our situations, life events, and illnesses, then we will continue to have the same experiences, and change will not come.

Dr. Joe Dispenza says the ego is useful for things like determining fight or flight, and for measuring safety or danger. When the ego starts holding you back, making you feel rotten about yourself, then you have a serious problem on your hands.

Marianne Williamson said, "We are either walking toward love or we are walking toward fear." Which one are you walking toward? Are you fearful all of the time? Then you are letting ego have its way with you. Don't let the ego hold you hostage. Love is the only thing that is real.

Dear beautiful souls, reach for something better because you ARE already something better.

Namaste.

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