Monday 23 March 2015

Love, Death, and Moving On




Nothing is more poignant than the moment in the movie “PS I Love You" where Holly is coming to terms with the death of her husband, Gerry.

She says, “And then I meet Gerry. This wonderful man happens to me and then, and then he died! What was the point? I'm so angry I could kill somebody. I'm alone, and it doesn't matter what job I have or what I do or what I don't do or what friends I have, he's not here. I mean, you're alone, no matter what.”

If you’ve lost your love, this quote will most likely resonate with you. Finding someone who connects with you on every level, who brings to the relationship something deep and beautiful, and then passes away may have you wondering what was the point.

Anger. Frustration. Confusion. Disappointment. Rejection. Fear. Heartache.These are all the emotions you can expect to feel, and there seems to be nothing that can make you feel better. That hole in your heart stays where it is, throbbing.

While it's true that you feel as if you won't ever feel normal again, or that you will never be able to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and carry on, I'm here to say that it will happen.


However, to do this, the action begins with you. Everyday is a new day. Everyday begins fresh. The pain in your heart will slowly, but surely, subside. Everyday, you take gentle steps to move forward, because that is what your loved one would have wanted. Everyday, you learn something new, grow in your awareness, and heal a little bit more. 

The steps you take don't have to be big ones; they can be small steps that might not look like much, but they are huge when you lump them all together. 

This transitional time is where you take care of you. You give yourself the love you need. This is the time where you wrap your arms around yourself and tell yourself it's okay to grieve. It's okay to feel crappy when you want to. Give yourself permission because you are the one in control of your emotions. 

Just don't live there. Don't hold yourself in that place of not moving forward; it won't do you any good and it won't bring back your loved one. We can try to hold ourselves in limbo, but this will never move us forward, nor will it allow us to live our lives to the fullest. 

C.S. Lewis said, “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” Moving forward doesn't mean forgetting your loved one. They will always be with you. Whatever your belief is, they are always beside you, in your heart and mind. They are always be a part of you. Take comfort in knowing that this time will pass. Take comfort in knowing that the universe wants to continue to fill your life with amazing and wonderful experiences, but only if you are open to them. 


Take care of your beautiful heart!

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